Paris & Amsterdam

 Paris. It was not a good experience. I think because I was alone and I was on the tightest shoestring budget of 25 euro a day to eat and whatever else. Totally insane but I was what they call manic. I went on my own. I caught a plane to Beauvais from Manchester I only had a small hand luggage holdall with four outfits in it. I spent one night in Beauvais and planned to explore before I caught the train to Paris but there was literally nothing to see and it was just fortunate that I was literally staying in a room right next to the train station. I got there at 9.30am but there wasn't a train until 11.40am.

I had high hopes for Paris and chatted to some Latvian girls on the train there. Once I arrive in Paris I'm in for a shock. I expect it to be like stepping off the train at Charing X in London and being able to walk around and see everything and easily find the tourist attractions on foot. I have a ticket for the hop on and off sightseeing bus too so I'm excited to go on that and see the sights.

The reality is I get off the train at Paris Gare du Nord and I exit the station and have zero idea where to go!. My WiFi won't work because the bill wasn't paid so O2 shut my services off. I literally feel lost. Everything is so huge. It's like London. But not London. Nobody seems to speak any English and I spend two hours in the station trying to connect to crappy WiFi and talk on messenger to my friend Naomi who works at my old workplacs. I say to her I just want to get to the Eiffel tower 🗼 so I can pick up the sightseeing bus and take things from there.

I end up in floods of tears and the security guards in the station help me to buy a ticket for the metro they write down what lines I need to get and where I need to go to find my hotel. The hotel is far out from Paris in Rossi a short bus ride from the airport. It's all so complicated. I finally get to the Eiffel tower. It's awful. Just a hunk of ugly metal and nothing romantic there if you are alone at all. The bus ride to sightsee is almost intolerable, it's totally boring.The boat trip is like the boat trips up the Thames. It's chilly. I'm emotional. I go to my hotel. It's two hours away.

I don't know how I even got there. I take a train to the airport and then I have to take a shuttle bus to the hotel. I'm in floods of tears when I realise I don't even know where to get off and neither does the driver. Luckily a woman who speaks English is on board and my saviour angel because she is going to the exact same place. We get off together and walk ten minutes to the hotel. Without her I would NEVER have found my way at all. Something was protecting me. Allah (SWT) was protecting me

Once at the hotel I can't stop crying for two hours and drink copious amounts of water at reception thanking the woman and telling people about my misadventures in Paris.

The hotel is actually a hostel. I'm sharing a room that's full of bunk beds with one other woman it's very quiet and cold and nothing to do, although I have a good public WiFi connection... The only shuttle from the hotel is about 8am to the airport. I take it and have a ten hour layover in the airport. I cannot face going back into Paris for any more time with absolutely nothing to do and all on my own.

Next I get to Amsterdam. I'm supposed to have two nights there in an all female hostel. I have used the airport WiFi to meticulously plan my journey from the airport to the hostel. Luckily everyone in Amsterdam is speaking English!

It's also super easy to get from the airport to ArenA Bijlmer and then just a short walk through the city centre shops to the hostel.

I loved that hostel! It had themed rooms and a communal kitchen cooking area and TV room with lovely staff it's female only. The other women are so friendly and I make friends there. One is a Turkish girl and the other a girl who's actually from Amsterdam. I ended up staying four nights because when I got to the airport my flight was cancelled and I had to go back again luckily they had spaces. My dad was furious because he had to pay with his card over the phone. By that point I had 10 euros left!! There was a Lidl across from the hostel so I was good for food luckily!

With the Turkish girl I go round heaps of museums. I'm so bored. Literally my eyes are falling to sleep. I convinced her to go into the town to look at the red light district and weed cafés... It's a pity she doesn't smoke. I feel sad because I would have had a whale of a time there with my ex who has cheated smoking and drinking and eating food. I actually never get to go in a weed cafe but I get talking to some people who take pity on me and give me a ten pound bag of weed a few fags and some rizla.

The Turkish girl Elif wants to go back to see more museums but I can't cope with that so I tell her I will stay behind and get high. Meet her back at the hostel at night.

The next day the Amsterdam girl takes me to some kind of festival which is fun. She also helps me by putting money on a bus pass card for me so that I can get to the airport without spending my own money.

Amsterdam has it's own Unique smell. I love it there. I wish to go back one day; but not alone.

I want to go to Llandudno in Wales this year.
I want to go to the castle at Conwy and the open top bus that takes you to all the sightseeing places. Then I want to take the train up the mountain to the cable cars. I hope to go in August during the school summer vacation with my daughter who will be 15 by then. I don't have much money this year due to moving and having to fix up this apartment, have floor laid, pay a decorator to paint it all clean and fresh. I also need to buy my daughter a whole new set of bedroom furniture and a new bed.